There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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