I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
