yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She told me I should be a condom model.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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