PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
