Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
