hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
