Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
