Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
