you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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