is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
