love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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