So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
