Buhtt sex?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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