All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
