You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
