Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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