why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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