Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize