I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
