so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
