Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
