Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
