Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
