they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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