You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
