I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
