yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
