Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
