Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
