I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
