Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
is it fun? or sober?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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