I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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