i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
