all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
