So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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