well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
