You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wish there were birth control emojis
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
