It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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