As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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