I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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