Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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