Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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