Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
