the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
