I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
