I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
