We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We got so high we made milksteak
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
third nipple confirmed
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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