Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
