I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
