remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
