Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
