how hairy? two words: wookie tits
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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