i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
